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There's that age-old argument: Why would God have made men's arms that long if he didn't want them to touch their penises? Surprisingly, that topic is not covered in Shootin' the Sh*t with Kevin Smith, but just about everything else penis-related is.

"If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable."

Scott Smith's popcorn-thriller entwines the reader in a vacation nightmare.

"[This] mysterious masterpiece has suffered all of its life because people think they don't want to see a documentary about a pet cemetery." (You have to love Ebert!)

In showing us ourselves, John Hughes gave us permission to be ourselves.

"Ah, yes. I knew Cassandra French way back when she was just a book."

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