The 10 Best Films of 2004:

1. Before Sunset
The most exciting and involving experience of the year, and it had none of the budget, effects, or tricks available to a big blockbuster studio picture. This thrilling sequel to 1995's Before Sunrise is literally just two people walking around Paris and talking about memories past for 80 minutes, but oh what an 80 minutes they are. Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke smolder as the two would-be lovers that reunite after a 9-year absence. Their conversation is so wonderful that you simply don't want the film to end. See the original to get the full effect. (On video now.)

2. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring
Another film that proves simplicity is the most effective way to reach an audience. This tranquil Korean film offers five short stories of redemption, lust, and learning centered around an old monk and his floating Buddhist temple on an isolated lake. There's a tale for each of the seasons indicated in the title, and they're all triumphs of cinematography in addition to powerful storytelling. (On video now.)

3. Sideways
Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor have finally found the perfect combination of middle-age loser life and hard-edged comedy after their excellent Election and About Schmidt. Sideways is a gorgeous ensemble piece starring Paul Giamatti and Thomas Hayden Church as Miles and Jack, two old college roommates, embarking on a last hurrah through California wine country a week before Jack's wedding. Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh play their love interests. All four give pitch perfect performances, and Madsen's wine monologue is the best speech of any movie this year. (Now playing in theatres.)

4. Garden State
Many critics have been quick to call this the new film of my generation. I wouldn't go that far, but I will say that this excellent debut feature from Scrubs star Zach Braff straddles an elegant melancholy with several doses of subtle irony to create an entertaining and wistful experience. The characters of Garden State have seen their lives flash in front of them with little interference and learn its up to them to change their future course. The best soundtrack of the year. (On video now.)

5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
What is the nature of our memories? Can they be erased? Which reality is real if two people remember the same event two different ways? These are the big questions proposed by Eternal Sunshine. This magically warped movie fuses the fantastical styles of Michel Gondry and Charlie Kaufman into a glorious comprehensible whole. Nothing else came out like it all year, and it bears multiple viewings to marvel at its complex structure and beautiful execution. (On video now.)

6. Mean Girls
It's impossible not to enjoy yourself watching this smartly written teen satire from head Saturday Night Live writer Tina Fey. Fresh-faced new girl Cady (Played with a genuine insecurity by an effective Lindsay Lohan.) is thrown into the chaos of high school and its social structure. When she rubs up against queen bee Regina George, school proves a far more treacherous place than her former African savanna home. (On video now.)

7. Saw
The only people laughing at Saw's inclusion on this list are those that didn't see it. Nothing in Saw inspires laughter, not even the overblown histrionic performances from Cary Elwes and Leigh Whannell. The two men wake up chained to opposite sides of a disgusting bathroom with rusty saws at their sides too weak to cut through metal but just right for cutting through something else. A wicked twist on the Seven serial killer formula, this ultra-low-budget Sundance shocker was the most entertaining and frightening film of the year. Not for the faint of heart. (On video February 15th.)

8. Lost Boys of Sudan
This documentary is difficult to watch but so important. It says more about our country than any of the crappy one-sided pre-election documentaries that came out this year. It shows the possibility of America with its financial and social realities. As I watched Santino Majok Chuor and Peter Kon Dut, two teenage Sudanese refugees, struggle with establishing their new lives in Houston, I felt an enormous sadness in their situation but a fragile joy in their triumphs. Their conflict between the old life back in Africa and their new one in the states is heartbreaking. (On video now.)

9. Mean Creek
A sort of coed Lord of the Flies, this was the most controversial film of the year that no one saw. This small gem polarized audiences with the moral issues surrounding a dark secret shared by a group of teen and elementary school kids. It also features the breakthrough male performance of the year from EuroTrip's Scott Mechlowicz. It begs to be seen and discussed by a larger audience. (On video January 25th.)

10. Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Funny and offensive, this undeserved summer failure delivered more intentional laughs than any other movie this year and created two new cult superheroes. John Cho and Kal Penn blast through Asian stereotypes as the title characters in this wacky sex, drugs, and rap music comedy bonanza. Rent it and forget about your problems. (On video now.)

The 5 Worst Films of 2004:

1. Twist
I would like to take this time to issue a public apology to the friend I dragged to this film on his birthday. Alex, I'm sorry. Twist is a miserable modern retelling of Oliver Twist replacing Dodge as the main character over Oliver and making all of the boys gay drug-addict prostitutes instead of pickpockets. 97 minutes of pain follow in the year's most unenjoyable cinematic experience of suffering. (On video now.)

2. She Hate Me
Oh Spike Lee, how could you? She Hate Me is the most offensive, overlong, and masturbatory film of the year. Its self-righteous pompous attitude takes extremely hateful shots at women and gays while criticizing society for its negative view of black men. I am disgusted at myself for sitting through it and you should never, ever watch it. (On video February 1st.)

3. Napoleon Dynamite
What is it that American youth are seeing in this movie? This low-budget Sundance cult hit dominated theatres for the entire second half of the year. It's a shame we're spending our money on such disdainful crap. The film is full of cheeky dialogue, uninteresting characters, and forcefully ironic situations. If this is what counts as hip filmgoing then I'm out. (On video now.)

4. The Stepford Wives
This doomed from the start comedy remake of 1975's more horror-oriented original was the year's biggest waste of talent. Not even Nicole Kidman or Glenn Close could save the thing. The productions problems: Fights between the director and Bette Midler, multiple reshoots, a last-minute new ending, etc. are quite apparent. (On video now.)

5. Open Water
The stupidest excuse for a movie this year and totally unworthy of anyone's praise. This somber and extremely over-acted barebones thriller is a huge letdown. Two honeymooners go diving and are left behind by their boat. Soon the sharks come and save the movie by giving us someone to root for. (On video now.)

The 5 Films I'm Most Embarrassed to Have Seen in 2004:

1. New York Minute
I saw this movie for free and it's still really embarrassing. Luckily, it was even more embarrassing for the Olsen twins, ahem, Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen. Their romp through New York City flopped big time. The ultimate embarrassing factor? I applied to the Gallatin School at New York University where they currently attend college. (On video now.)

2. Raise Your Voice
Hilary Duff sings, learns life lessons, and hangs out with edgy musician friends. Please, someone stop me from laughing. (On video February 15th.)

3. Seed of Chucky
Neither funny nor scary nor dramatic nor, well, anything really. Jennifer Tilly really needs to get a new agent and Chucky needs to stay dead for good. Parodying Ed Wood for being bad doesn't make your bad movie better. (Coming soon to video.)

4. Alien vs. Predator
There would've been no embarrassment had I proved everyone wrong and this movie was totally cool. Sadly, it was the year's most wasted concept because of the bland violence-preventing PG-13 rating and the odd almost make-out seen between the female lead and Predator. (On video January 25th.)

5. Sleepover
This disgusting teen "comedy" celebrates girl power. The only problem is that the film's idea of girl power is middle school girls drinking, breaking into houses, sneaking into bars, driving without a license, and vandalizing private property all with a stylized wardrobe and soundtrack with no legal ramifications. (On video now.)