The 10 Best Films of 2003:

1. Capturing the Friedmans
2003 was the best year for documentaries in recent memory, with To Be and To Have, Spellbound, and Winged Migration all doing great business. This film, however, outdid them all. Capturing the Friedmans asks a simple question: What is truth? Who controls the truth? How do we create it? How can we ever be sure it exists? The answer, as we find out, is anything but simple. When a police sting uncovers mountains of child pornography inside the home of a middle class Long Island family, allegations that father Arnold and 18 year-old son Jesse sodomized more than twenty boys in the basement of their home soon follow. Full of conflicting testimonies, questionable evidence, and haunting home videos of the family going through their crisis, the film is a painful examination of a modern witch hunt. Or is it? Everyone I know that saw it came out with a different opinion of what happened. I've seen it three times and I still don't know.

2. Camp
A film that should be required viewing for any teenager that's ever felt different from everyone else. Camp follows the summer at Camp Ovation, a drama camp where the cast of characters includes the bedhopping golden boy, the drag queen, the bitch, the diva, and the girl who just wants to get even. Life affirming and heartwarming, with the best musical number, "Here's Where I Stand", of any film this year, Camp promotes tolerance and diversity in a way that isn't cloying or sickly sweet. I could watch it again and again.

3. Finding Nemo
The most entertaining film of the year, and the best family film since Toy Story 2. When a diver catches his son Nemo, Marlin the clownfish embarks on a grand adventure across the sea to rescue him. Ellen DeGeneres as Dory, the fish without a short-term memory, is just one of many colorful characters met along the way. Pixar really outdid themselves. The animation is stunning.

4. Lost in Translation
Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson give the performances of the year in this heartbreaking film about finding yourself in the most unlikely of places. Sofia Coppola turns her gorgeously shot film from a hilarious comedy in the first hour to a painful examination of alienation in the second. In a word, beautiful.

5. Kill Bill: Vol. 1
Only Quentin Tarantino could bring film violence to a new level. This lethal and hyperkinetic first chapter turned the classic Shaw Brothers kung fu films on their head. Uma Thurman as The Bride or Black Mamba even manages to make tracksuits cool again. The only word to describe it is awesome.

6. Elephant
Gus Van Sant's latest film follows several teens over the course of a typical day at school. Little do they know the horror and violence with which the day will end. By showcasing the brutal violence without providing commentary for the possible reasons behind it, Van Sant shows that pointing the finger at any one cause is as pointless as blaming the elephant on the killer's wall.

7. Bend It Like Beckham
Finally a teen film that rejects stereotypes and refuses to insult its audience. With its combination of soccer, romance, tradition, and humor, Beckham is tons of fun.

8. Together (He ni zai yi qi)
I am quite unashamed to admit that I cried and cried at this movie. Young violinist Xiaochun moves from rural China with his father Cheng to make a new life, but the little boy must make a decision between his family and his future. The best ending of any film this year.

9. Dirty Pretty Things
This heartpounding thriller explores the world of illegal immigrants in London and their struggle for survival. Tragic, fascinating, and frightening all at once. Chiwetel Ejiofor gives one the best performances of the year.

10. Koi… Mil Gaya
A magical step forward for Bollywood film. This charming sci-fi musical packs about ten different movies, E.T., Flubber, Peter Pan, and Close Encounters of the Third Kind among them, into its surprisingly compact three hour running time. Hrithik Roshan anchors the film with a winning performance.

The 5 Worst Films of 2003:

1. Demonlover
Olivier Assayas self-indulgent half-French, half-English epic managed to make hentai porn, bondage, S&M, and shooting someone in the head while you're engaging in intercourse with them dreadfully boring.

2. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
I had a two hour dental procedure near the beginning of September. It was a long and arduous process. I couldn't feel my mouth for two days afterwards, but I would honestly go through the experience again instead of seeing this horrendous romantic comedy that caused nothing but pain and suffering a second time.

3. Dreamcatcher
Easily the stupidest horror film of the year, the aliens coming out of the butts of humans and turning into psychotic worms/deranged deer was simply too much. A low point for Stephen King.

4. Underworld
A cool concept gone horribly, horribly wasted. Shot so dark you couldn't see anything, with poor sound work so you couldn't hear anything, and abysmal performances from Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman.

5. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde
In a year full of bad and disappointing sequels, this offensive and brutally unfunny film took the cake.

The 5 Films I'm Most Embarrassed
to Have Spent Money On in 2003:

1. The Real Cancun
Young and spoiled brats getting drunk and hooking up in a tropical location is OK to watch on TV when you don't have to pay for it, but not at the Pacific Place price of nine dollars a ticket.

2. From Justin to Kelly
This tragic cinematic downfall featuring American Idol contestants Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini was cheesy beyond belief.

3. House of 1,000 Corpses
I think the title says it all. I was the only one in the packed theatre unpierced and not wearing leather.

4. Kangaroo Jack
Nothing more exciting than watching Jerry O'Connell, Estella Warren, and a bunch of other people who can't act chase a computer-animated kangaroo across the Australian outback.

5. Darkness Falls
Yes, it's true. The killer in this horror movie was an evil alien version of the Tooth Fairy. Be glad you didn't see it.