| WHITE NOISE |
 2005 - USADirector: Geoffrey Sax
- Reviewed by Jennifer
Why is it that people in movies are always so thrilled to communicate with the dead? Remember how the cheerleaders wouldn't speak to the smart kids until we all got out of high school? Well that's how I feel about dead people. I really don't want to talk to them until I'm dead too. White Noise entertains the notion, posed by the likes of Thomas Edison, that it's possible for the dead to communicate with the living through electronic devices, or Electronic Voice Phenomenon (EVP). I would love to dismiss this idea as rubbish, but shortly after a friend died several years ago, my radio came on by itself in the middle of the night. There are a variety of logical explanations for this, but it was weird, and I always wondered about it. Consequently, this movie scared the dickens out of me. Michael Keaton stars as Jonathan, a man whose life is turned on its ear when his wife, Anna, fails to come home one evening. Just when he's really beginning to worry about her—around 2:30 a.m.—his radio goes all funny, and you pretty much know she's dead. To make this extra sad for everyone, it happens on the same day she discovered she was pregnant and finalized the jacket design for her new book. Such potential senselessly snuffed out! Such tragedy! Such manipulative writing by a Mr. Niall Johnson! One day Jonathan notices that a fat man is following him. Is he a stalker? Was he involved in Anna's death? Turns out, he's an EVP expert, and he's been receiving messages from Anna. Of course he has to poke around and act creepy about the whole thing—it would kill the suspense if he just introduced himself and said what was on his mind. Before you know it, Jonathan is sucked into the world of EVP. He spends every waking hour staring at staticky video footage or listening to fuzzy recordings. Things continue to happen at 2:30—messages in the white noise, stuck elevators, and cell phone calls from Anna. If The Grudge and White Noise are any indication, you'll know a dead person is on the line when it sounds like a squirrel with a bad connection is calling. Eventually Jonathan realizes that he's receiving ominous messages about people who haven't died yet. He feels he's meant to intervene, like some sort of telepathic superhero, but he's starting to see a connection—all the warnings pertain to people who've dabbled in EVP! A medium tries to tell him to stop meddling with the dead, but he can't seem to help himself. He loves EVP, and nothing good can come of it. This isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but by the end I felt sort of used. There are plenty of startling moments coupled with ideas and images that promise to scar you for life—if that suits your mood. To be fair, Michael Keaton does a decent job, and you can always comfort yourself with thoughts of Mr. Mom and Beetlejuice when you start to freak out. However, this movie is every bit as fatalistic as The Grudge or Final Destination, and I fail to see the point. The only thing they teach us is not to mess around with death. Well duh. I don't usually pay much attention to MPAA ratings, but I did notice that this sick piece of crap is rated PG-13, while The Merchant of Venice was stuck with an R on account of a few boobies. Honestly, what's more likely to damage a kid for life—something we all see in the shower, or ghosts coming through the television? |
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