| THE CELL |
2000 - USA
Director: Tarsem Singh - Reviewed by Linda  I'm
not quite sure I get the fascination with serial killers. These bad boys (since
they are almost always men) are loved by Hollywood as much as lawyers, cops, and
doctors. You'd think that humankind had no other occupations to keep us busy!
But if you like this sort of stuff, don't worry... By the time the previews for
upcoming films finally ended, I was pretty much nauseated by all the flashes of
carnage coming soon to a theater near you.
But anyway! A good killer-thriller, when done well (like Silence of the Lambs) can give you the heebie-jeebies for days, or even weeks after you see it. But a well-done flick in this genre seems a rare thing these days, as the ideas are just getting recycled into slicker and slicker MTV packages. Case in point: The Cell's serial killer is bad news as soon as you see him. You know why? Because his hair and wardrobe are stuck in the 70s... No, not the cool "retro" 70s, but "greasy, bad-haircut, and polyester" 70s. My God... he must be... evil! Of course he is! Carl (Vincent D'Onofrio) puts women in a glass tank, and slowly fills it with water until they drown. Then he bleaches their bodies and makes them into dolls. Oh, and he likes suspending himself with hooks through the skin of his back for a thrill. Jennifer Lopez is a well-respected psychologist who professionally wears skimpy, tight tank tops, and (even luckier for the audience) gets to don a tight bodysuit filled with electrodes (or something) that allows here to enter the minds of patients wearing the same get-up. This way she can help a kid in a coma, for instance, by chatting with him inside his head. We are told that "she is a natural". Carl the Killer has mental problems, and slips into a coma just as the Feds, led by Vince Vaughn (who looks puffy and tired lately), catch him. Alas, there is still one missing girl! Carl is in a coma! Time is running out! With grim determination, Jennifer comes to the rescue and gets inside the killer's head. [Fill in the rest of the plot yourself.] The Cell is pretty much an excuse to put Jennifer Lopez into fancy outfits, like white feathery plumage, form-fitting black lace, tight skirts, etc., as well as an astonishing array of lipstick shades (and yes, that is both in mental-dream-land and "real life"). And the sets are pretty cool, but really nothing that you haven't seen before (go rent Brazil or City of Lost Children for cool sci-fi-ish dreamscapes). I'm starting to wonder what all the fuss about Ms. Lopez is: Sure she has a great body, but can she act? Does it matter? I can't tell. And Vince Vaughn, who is normally quite fine, doesn't really seem to know what to do with himself. He hints at his own haunted childhood (which is supposedly the source of Carl's problems), then it is immediately dropped. Plot holes abound, but we aren't supposed to care. Just look at the Jennifer! Look! [filmmaker quickly distracts audience] The Cell is a pretty picture, but unfortunately it is as empty as Killer Carl's holding tank with all the water drained out. |
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