| THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS |
 2001 – USA
Director: Wes Anderson - Reviewed by Dan
I loved every minute of this film. It was like a razor-sharp British comedy seasoned with dash of blaxploitation (for lack of a more racially-inclusive cinematic term) with sets dressed by Edward Gorey. Synopsis: Supremely self-absorbed asshole, Royal Tenenbaum (Hackman), exploits a mortal diagnosis to ingratiate himself with the family of screwed-up geniuses he abandoned. How is it that this is a feel-good film? Has Hollywood undergone a renaissance when I wasn't looking? I think that the renaissance has a name and it is (director and co-writer) Wes Anderson. The Royal Tenenbaums centers itself around one of the most realistic family dynamics shown on a screen in years. Its honesty is made palatable by a candy-coating of subtle surrealism and genuine heartfelt comedy. It makes you glad you're not a genius (or at least that you weren't raised in an atmosphere that would force you to be one). I've learned to constrain my hopes when a preview for a comedy flaunts an all-star cast, especially when a couple of heavy-hitters like Hackman and Angelica Houston are involved. Their talents pitifully abused in this Something-About-Mary-era, they usually look desperately out of place and anxious to cash their checks so they can go home and drink themselves to death. But this ensemble cast of pros really play off of each other. They immerse themselves into this intelligent, insightful script (not a single fart joke!). Acting! Would someone please hand Gene Hackman an Academy Award just for getting out of bed in the morning? I smell a lifetime achievement award. How he can portray such a loathsome character and make him loveable is beyond description. He's Harrison Ford with balls. Angelica Houston, Gwyneth Paltrow, and the Wilson Brothers (Owen co-wrote the film!) are all completely outstanding. Bill Murray and Ben Stiller deliver deadpan laughs without disturbing the thespian vibe. Even the child actors are way better than tolerable. This movie feels like theatre, but is so built for the screen it's practically a paradox. (Ironically, it's framed as though it were a book, chapter by chapter). Anderson is proving himself to be a master of the medium. The use of music in the film is also outstanding. Rarely does modern music so perfectly fit within and elucidate a film. The Beatles are featured, as well as Elliot Smith and the Ramones. The use of a Nick Drake song is so eerily appropriate it must've stopped him rolling over in his grave from being exploited so blatantly in a Volkswagen commercial. I'm going to digress into a personal account for the next several paragraphs. Feel free to skip ahead to the nicely alliterated conclusory paragraph if you so desire.... It says a lot for this film that I was able to care about the characters, to laugh and strain for every word, in spite of the fact that I sat behind a huge, physically powerful man who felt compelled to comment loudly throughout. I could smell the toxins leaking from his pores. I thought fate had granted my section of the theatre a reprieve when he stumbled out 15 minutes into the film, until he returned 20 minutes later with a shopping bag full of beer(!). I briefly wondered how someone could walk past a doorman with a bag full of beer, but then I remembered my own experience as a 16-year-old underpaid doorman (Huge, intoxicated man on the road to self-destruction? Go right in sir... If someone complains I'll call the cops). Things got really interesting when a character in the film started chopping garden-hose length lines of cocaine. "Yeah, baby. What time is it? What time is it... MY TIME! TIME FOR A LINE!" *grumble gargle, unintelligible mumbling... TWITCH!* "See, that's when I pull out my gun and SHOOT the muthahfuckah," he says, shifting in his seat and leaning forward to pull god-knows-what from his back pocket/waistband.... So this is Seattle, the "politest" (or at least) most restrained city on the planet. Every person in a 20-foot radius (maybe more) wanted to tell this guy to shut the hell up, but then again, nobody wanted to die. I think it's safe to make this assumption seeing as how nobody said anything (although the ladies in the row in front of him clucked disapprovingly and occasionally whispered to each other). Earlier, I had taken the bold Seattle step of mumbling "freak" under my breath after a particularly noisy outburst. God knows what kind of super-amphetamines have taken the place of this man's brain, but he HEARD me and turned his head sideways—not looking at me directly but—with some kind of lizard-like swivel-eyed skill, I felt him measuring me. So when he started reaching for his gun, I started experiencing my life flashing before my eyes. But then I was pissed. For God's sake, was it really my fault that this man had been denied the attention he required as a child? Was it really necessary for 30-plus people to have to put up with his toxic-delusional crap when all they'd wanted was to see a movie? Frankly, I'd rather sit next to someone shooting up heroin than have to put up with someone talking during a movie, because a movie is like your virginity. You only get to experience it for the first time once. Well, he certainly got my attention. And that's when I realized I was Royal Tenenbaum, about to take it in the chest for being a self-centered bastard. It still made me mad that the guy was wrecking my movie, but shouldn't I at least feel sorry for this life lived on the rocks? Truth be told, with a shower and a total blood transfusion that man could've been attractive. He probably could've been an amazing salesman or CEO of some sort... maybe he was at some point. It's my failure that I was unable to get past the smell. Or my fear of death. Obviously, once the drugs disappeared from the screen, he settled down. I'll never know if it was a gun or an itch on his ass that made him move like that... but it made the message of the movie all the more poignant, I must say. So go see The Royal Tenenbaums. Marvel at a well-made, warm-hearted, sharp-eyed film. And may you sit in the civilized section. |
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Glorious. In fact, The Royal Tenenbaums is the perfect holiday movie,
especially if the holiday is a joyous combination of Christmas, Halloween,
and your favorite cousin's wedding.
