| THE PUNISHER |
 2004
- USA
Director: Jonathan Hensleigh
- Reviewed by Linda 
I could make a clever play on words about how "punishing" it was to watch this film, but that would be too easy, now, wouldn't it? The truth is, my favorite part about this movie was the fact that after a long hour and a half, and just seeing a guy get his face jewelry ripped out by pliers, the DVD suddenly froze up on me. No matter what I did—you know... fast forward it, stop it, start it, eject it, lick it—the darn thing wouldn't continue after around the 1:31 point. But, you know? That's OK. I'm sure it ended with Tom Jane blowing away all the bad guys, including ultimately John Travolta, into tiny bits by the end, and either kissing the girl (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) over the closing credits, or at least giving her a mournful yet yearning look, and walking away with a rifle slung over his right shoulder.
Now, I know it is based on a comic book (or graphic novel, if you will), but when are screenwriters going to realize that the speak-one-line... pause... speak-another-line... method of screenwriting is not as captivating on screen as it is on a page? Catchy exchanges like where a guy looks forlornly at our hero, saying, "Go with God!" and Frank Castle (Jane) says, "God's going to sit this one out..." look good on paper, but you have to admit, they are a bit eyeball-rolling on screen. To back up, Frank Castle is an undercover CIA-type guy who gets a big Tampa kingpin's son killed in his last sting... of course just when Castle is going to quit for good and live with his lovely wife and child. Kingpin Howard Saint (Travolta), out for revenge, sends a posse who literally obliterates Castle's entire family, handily gathered for a family reunion, and now Castle is out to "punish" his family's assassins. It is convenient, for one thing, to have this story take place in Florida, where supposedly when they aren't having hurricanes, everyone walks around looking supple and toned and sweaty. Perfect excuse for Tom Jane to have his shirt off as much as possible. This is okay though, since his eyes seem rather dim, and he only speaks in gruff, few-word utterances when forced to emote. He takes off his shirt, polishes his weapons, and drinks a lot. But he is human, the film points out, by his flashbacks, and by the fact that he sort of makes friends with his quirky neighbors (a skinny guy, a fat guy, and a hot babe played by Romijn-Stamos). That is, when he isn't stalking the bad guys, or throwing knives at the throats of guitar-weilding thugs. The film overstays its action-genre welcome by trudging on for over two hours to the inevitable conclusion of good vs. bad. But then of course I'm making this up about the conclusion since I didn't quite get that far. So if you manage to sit through this, don't bother telling me how it ended, as The Punisher is just about as formulaic a revenge/action movie as they come. [Read Jennifer's contrasting review. Unlike Linda, she fell for The Punisher, hook, line and sinker!] |
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