| THE PERFECT STORM |
2000 - USA
Director: Wolfgang Petersen - Reviewed by Linda 
Have you ever had one of those earnest conversations where you discuss: "If I ever had to join the Armed Forces, which branch would I join?" I used to say the Coast Guard. But now, after watching The Perfect Storm, I say, "Fergit it!" If there is one thing I learned from sitting through two hours of bad acting, and an even worse script, it is that the people in the Coast Guard are pretty darn cool. And funny enough, that wasn't even the main part of the plot! The movie starts with a slow and rather excruciating build-up of character development as our Fishermen Heroes of the Andrea Gail are in port in Gloucester, Massachusetts. Half of the characters struggle with the bizarre New England accent (worst offender: Diane Lane as Marky Mark Wahlberg's girlfriend)... the rest of the characters choose to ignore that they're close to Baah-staahn and I guess just pretend they're from Alaska or something (thank god). I found it hard to care about these people, as otherwise great actors like John C. Reilly struggled to put depth into lines like, "Gosh, son, you know, your momma is one day going to find another man to be your daddy. But I love you. You know I love you, son." (little boy's eyes well up ridiculously... my friend and I snort). Finally, after what seems like hours, they all go out to sea. The Andrea Gail crew includes the required wacky assortment of characters; two guys who want to kill each other (one which I couldn't help think looked like Barry Manilow in drag as a biker... very distracting), one greenhorn, a generic black man with a vague accent never explained (was he French? Cajun? Jamaican?), a couple others, and Cap'n George Clooney, a Man of the Sea. They go to Look For The Fish, because they are Gloucester Men (which we are reminded more than once). They have a bit of bad luck, like when a scene from Jaws is spliced into the film, and another where a guy washes overboard, they save him, and the incident is never acknowledged again. But they persevere until "lo!" they finally find some big fish way the hell out in the middle of nowhere in the Atlantic (Farther Than Any Man Has Gone Before). By now, I think, the crowd was restless, and wanted to see some big waves, and finally they arrive after some cheesy interludes of a Boston weatherman describing for the viewers what makes "the perfect storm". While the Andrea Gail is cluelessly going right into the storm, we are introduced to a completely separate story of the Coast Guard rescuing a few idiots on a phancy sailboat in the middle of the hurricane... Who are these people, and why should we care? These scenes are actually quite thrilling and scary though (hence my lack of desire to join the Coast Guard anytime soon). This side-story eventually ties into our main story, though it practically feels like a different movie. Well, I won't say what happens... you have to go along for the ride. The special effects of the Big Waves are pretty darn cool, gotta admit. But unfortunately, I guess there was no money left over for a script and an acting coach. Most of the characters are simply annoying, or else leave no lasting impression at all. My friend and I both agreed that Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (as the kick-ass captain of another fishing boat, and George's almost-love-interest) should have been pulled out of the plot and given her own movie. She was great with what little she was given to do. I think after this film, and last year's Limbo, she may have found a new niche as earthy, outdoors woman... give the woman more parts! So despite the special effects, The Perfect Storm left me a bit empty when I was really hoping to be emotionally involved. It will be remembered as the movie with the Really Cool Big Wave, but that's about it. |
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