| FOOL'S GOLD |
 2008 - USADirector: Andy Tennant
- Reviewed by Linda
Apparently a long-lost Spanish Galleon, laden with gold and treasure, sunk somewhere in the Caribbean over 200 years ago... and was never found! That is until pretty boy treasure-hunter Finn (McConaughey) stumbles across it by accident. He's been looking for this treasure for years (or a few minutes in movie-time), and apparently this obsessive quest led to the dissolution of his marriage to Tess (Kate Hudson). But gosh, there is a gazillionaire (Donald Sutherland) who wants the treasure, and some gangsta thugs who want it, too. But do you think Finn and Tess will get out of one scrap or another to get the treasure after all? Do you think their romance will get rekindled? Do you think you'll get to see Matthew McConaughey's buff, bronzed chest? The answer is: Yes! Yes! Yes! The only thing I'll remember from the vapid Fool's Gold is the advertising campaign. When the film was in the theaters, the poster showed Matthew—t-shirt, shorts, and white teeth—with his arm around cute, bikini-clad Kate Hudson, beaming at her with his mega-watt smile. And then I looked at the ad again. "Wow," I said, looking at Matthew's shorts, then showing the picture to a friend, "Um... Matthew looks really happy to see her." The, erm, airbrushing of Matt's shorts implied that a fun time would be had by all (if you know what I mean) if you went to see the action-packed adventure Fool's Gold. I don't know if that proved to be true in Matthew's shorts, but it sure didn't prove to be true in the turkey that is Fool's Gold. |
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Fool's Gold is exactly the type of movie that you can watch with the sound off. In fact, it is almost a benefit to have the sound off, since the film is basically all about eye-candy, and eye-candy alone. There's the lost treasure of the title (ooo! pretty and glittering gold!). There's the beautiful tropical locale of the setting (ooo! white sandy beaches and turquoise water!). And of course there are the beautiful co-stars, with their bronzed bodies, sun-bleached hair, and white teeth. Do you really need more than that? You certainly don't want to waste your time listening to the crappy dialogue, or the convoluted plot, or hear the shrieking when a damsel is in distress, or hear the bloated posturing of the bad guys. You don't want to hear Matthew McConaughey talking himself in and out of trouble (again) in his good ol' boy drawl that has become his trademark. And you don't want to hear the soundtrack which sounds like it has been ripped from 1980s-era Magnum P.I.
