The studio execs that placed this film at the beginning of the summer blockbuster season were wise to do so. It won’t take very stiff competition to knock Evolution out of the multiplex.

This movie is so “by the numbers” it’s astounding. It’s basically Ghostbusters with a face-lift, except it lacks the frightening bad guys and great chemistry between actors that made that earlier Ivan Reitman film so much fun to watch. I know it’s a “comedy” so this isn’t supposed to matter, but the plot is so wafer thin you can see the climax through it within the first 5 minutes.

Evolution glorifies the stupidest amongst us. The kids who save the day are so dumb their heads hurt. The military is represented as so inept they should wear flaming Washington Monument phalluses on their heads instead of hats.

David Duchovny tries to make his character Ira Kane simultaneously irreverent, down-to-earth, and brilliant but comes off as mostly bland. You’d think with three credited screen writers, the jokes would’ve been funnier than the instantly dated “You da man” variety. And can I just say enough with the racial tension jokes? Sheesh.

Julianne Moore (“Clareeeeesss” from Hannibal) seems comfortable with a comedic roll. In this movie, her scientist Allison Reed comes off as the PG-version of the tolerating girlfriend at the frat house who smiles and rolls her eyes while the guys chug beer and stage vomiting contests while ogling her breasts. I’ll blame the writers again for having her klutz through every scene. (What’s she going to trip over this time!)

Everyone knows Orlando Jones (of the “Seven Up Yours” commercials) is funny, but in this film he proves he can act as well. I hope that he receives more opportunities in the future… some that don’t require him to have a large medical instruments inserted into his posterior (probably the funniest moment in the film, people… yup).

I chuckled 4 times during this movie. Look! David Duchovny’s ass! Ain’t that hiLARIous?

The creatures (aside from the ludicrous and ridiculously fakey “ending”) are a wonder of digital artistry. They are probably the strongest redeeming factor of the film. Imaginative and seamlessly layered in with the live action, there’s no question these effects are state of the art. Unfortunately, they just aren’t very funny or surprising.

I blame the writers, and maybe Reitman for not giving these characters a truly scary menace to fight. You need a great bad guy to make you root for your team… A little pressure from the aliens could’ve made our heroes seem to bond on screen and generated a little chemistry. I honestly didn’t care when they saved the day. It was obvious they would all along, right? And even if they didn’t, most of them seemed too stupid to care!

Dan Ackroyd has a cameo as the governor of the afflicted state. Even his instant ham-baked presence can’t save this film from it’s own lameness, but it was nice to see him and remember how much better Ghostbusters was.

And I have to mention that this film has one of the most obnoxious and flamingly in-your-face product placement gimmicks in years. The aliens may be dead, but at least they don’t have embarrassing dandruff flakes in their hair!

For a frat house skit with a budget, it’s not really surprising how forgettable this movie is. Plan this one for a matinee on a cloudy day at best. I’d even think twice about renting this yawn of a movie. But act fast—as a nominee for the Darwin Awards, it won’t last long in theatres.

Official Movie Site