| THE CAVE |
 2005 - USADirector: Bruce Hunt
- Reviewed by Vickie
Made up of largely B- and C-list actors, the film finds an intrepid and renowned diving team being called to the mountains of eastern Europe to investigate a mysterious, water-filled cave discovered beneath the ruins of a centuries-old church. (Note to aspiring spelunkers out there: if you ever find anything lying under the ruins of a centuries-old church, just walk away and leave it alone. You have been warned.) Leading the expedition is alpha-male Jack (Cole Hauser), whose team consists of his brother (Eddie Cibrian), a testosterone-driven hot shot (Rick Ravanello) and the token tomboy-with-lesbian-undertones (Piper Perabo). They’re joined on location by a scientist named Katherine (Lena Headey) and her cameraman (Daniel Dae Kim)… plus an old guy you just know isn’t going to make it past the first set of water-logged stalagmites. It will surprise no one who’s seen any of the trailers that what the group discovers underground, when they’re miles from any hope of aid or rescue, ain’t fun. For lurking in the depths of the cave system are strange, Alien-like creatures that have, it is explained, probably evolved without sunlight over hundreds (or thousands) or years. They’re pale, toothy, slimy and (like bats) have finely tuned audio radar. They’re also none too pleased that their sanctum is being invaded, so they set to work making snacks out of our foolish heroes. While the story is entertaining enough and the actors deliver appropriately campy performances (though I found myself waiting for Perabo and Headey to lock lips, which they never did), the film has a few flaws (see: previous bracketed statement). At the top of the list is its dizzying, disorienting editing, which I assume is meant to convey the group’s perpetually unstable footing but only succeeds in confusing the audience. Half the time, I couldn’t tell who or what was onscreen… something that became increasingly problematic as the Albino Aliens continued their attacks. How am I supposed to keep track of who’s alive and who’s dead if I can see who’s being eaten? It also feels like part of the screenplay wound up on the cutting room floor, since it’s never really clear what these creatures are. Evolution is one half-assed explanation that comes up, but it’s immediately contradicted when someone else realizes that the marauding aliens are something else. We’re essentially asked to ignore the plot holes and enjoy the carnage which, I suppose, is to be expected. This isn’t Oscar bait. As such, The Cave won’t win any awards anytime soon. It feels a lot like a straight-to-video version of The Abyss meets Alien, and its open ending elicited more than a few eyerolls, but what did you expect? It’s the end of August and the really good summer movies are dying off faster than the victims of this film’s angry, un-pigmented stars. |
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You know, as far as summer action movies about fang-y, flying,
subterranean albino creatures and evil naked mole rats living in a
labyrinthian cave system in the Carpathian mountains go, this one isn’t
half bad. It’s not entirely good, either, but makes for a tidy,
pre-fall last hurrah for the high-concept sci-fi film genre.