| AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER |
 2002 –
USA
Director: Jay Roach - Reviewed by Dan
All the old favorite Powers characters are back (Dr. Evil, Fat Bastard, Mini-Me) and Meyers inhabits yet another over-the-top stereotype with the introduction of Dutch bad guy, Goldmember. He’s got an obsession for gold, wants to flood the world for the hell of it and has managed to kidnap Austin’s dad (Michael Caine). He’s also a swinger from the seventies whose real member was destroyed in a “smelting accident.” Some of his personal grooming habits literally made me gag. In fact, recalling it now is making me nauseous all over again. Beyoncé Knowles as Austin's love interest, Foxxy Cleopatra, has real star power. She's incredibly beautiful and glows on-screen. Strangely, there is zero sexual chemistry between her and Powers. Has anyone seen the previous films? Is the man not a sex-obsessed maniac? The one kiss they share made me think of kissing old auntie Eugenia who always wanted it on the lips. Eww. Michael Caine sleepwalks through the film as Austin’s not particularly likeable pop. Caine is such a professional he gets away with it, though. Is there a minute when he’s not shooting a scene? Good Lord. Give the man a bathroom break. It’s too bad that the scatological outweighs the comedy in this film, because at times, Meyers is truly inspired. Dr. Evil is one of the funniest characters ever conceived. I say forget the gross-out jokes and give me All Evil All The Time. And don’t forget Seth Green—he gives Meyers a run for his improvisational money. The other supporting characters (with the exception of Mindy Sterling as Frau Farbissina) seem like caricatures of the caricatures they played in the previous films—like they’re not even there, really—just props for Meyers to push around. What is up with Michael York? He’s robotically creepy in this movie! And Richard Wagner yawns through every scene he’s in. I’d be lying to say I didn’t laugh several times during Goldmember or that it wasn’t inventive. Maybe I disliked it so much because my inner fourteen-year-old wasn’t cooperating that day. Or maybe it's because the balancing act that teetered between laughing and retching was just too shaky. I really have no desire to see this movie again because if I feel like gagging, I can save the nine dollars and stick my finger down my throat. But hey, with several Budweisers in your belly, or with a more cooperative audience, I’m not saying you won’t have a good time. Apparently, a whole lotta people think gross is great. You know who you are. (Hey I love a splatter-fest as much as the next guy, but jokes about the flavor of ear wax make me sick, not scared.) Anyway, not to be all up on a soap box, but I’m hoping this film will conclude the Austin Powers trilogy so that Meyers can focus on making more movies like So I Married an Axe Murderer. Come on, Mike. If you want to live up to your comedy genius buzz you’ve got to show us that it’s not ALL about the money. |
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Goldmember falls into that love-it-or-hate-it category of films. Some people can’t get enough urine-soaked, flatulent, fecal, and phallic comedy in their cinematic diets. And Mike Meyers is there for them. Yeah, baby.
