| ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS |
 2007 - USADirector: Tim Hill
- Reviewed by Vickie
Because Alvin and the Chipmunks is just as awful as you fear it will be. It’s Alvin and the Crapmunks as far as I’m concerned...and that’s the most genteel of the colorful nicknames I came up with for this dud. Heaven knows why anyone anywhere thought this big-screen version of the much-loved cartoon needed to made in the first place but, honestly, if you’re going to go ahead and do it anyway, why not at least put in an ounce of originality? Or creativity? Or heart? Instead, in what is perhaps the best example of tragic cinematic irony to hit screens in a long while, the crass, exploitive AATC movie is a comedy about the crass, exploitive commercialization of three singing chipmunks. Hello?! Slumming in a big, unfunny way, Jason Lee stars as Dave, a frustrated songwriter who discovers Alvin, Simon and Theodore when they hitch a ride to his apartment. Who cares how, really. It doesn’t matter. By this point in the film I already didn’t care. Dave’s been given the music-industry heave-ho by smarmy record exec Ian (Cross, the only good thing in this mess) and is desperately trying to write the perfect song when he finds the trio of woodland interlopers in his kitchen, kicks them out and then hears them singing outside his window. Cha-ching! Any third-grader could figure out the story arc from here: Dave wants to cash in on the chipmunks’ talents, but everything goes awry once the pint-sized crooners get a taste of fame. Soon, they’re obnoxious CGI nightmares, hip-hopping around the stage and rapping and making me cringe. There are several “production numbers” that did nothing but make me weep for the memory of the original incarnations and their adorable Christmas song. The story makes no sense, either. Alvin and the boys are, at the outset, seemingly wide-eyed and naive and clueless about anything (in Dave’s kitchen for the first time, they remark that it must be the place he stores his food for the winter)...and yet, two minutes later, are skilled at operating household appliances, trading pop-culture quips and training Dave on how to woo his completely bland and uninteresting neighbor (Cameron Richardson). The filmmakers decided to make her a photographer to give her some depth, but all I saw was an entirely forgettable actress schlepping a camera around for no discernable reason. She might as well have been carting around a torpedo or a baby seal or a human brain for all it mattered. Which is to say: not at all. You know what? There’s just so much wrong with this movie that there’s no point in continuing. It stinks. Don’t waste your money. DVD NOTESThe DVD comes with flip-over widescreen and full screen options (for a kids' movie? just think how sticky it will get...). Among the extras are "Hitting the Harmony" with music director Ali Dee explaining the process of recording regular vocals at half time to speed up and come up with the chipmunk-singing. He uses the word "legitimate" several times in one sentence describing how cool his modern hip-hop 'munk tracks will be. Also, there's a commercial for the movie soundtrack, trailers for other films, and a featurette called "Chip-Chip-Hooray! Chipmunk History" about the history of the original chipmunks, hosted by original creator Ross Bagdasarian's son, Ross Bagdasarian, Jr. |
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This movie is getting two slices for one reason and one reason only:
David Cross. Without him, it likely would have earned the dreaded
no-pie rating.
