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Behold, fans—the long awaited conclusion to your dark-hero trilogy. I hope you are more impressed than I was.

The Expendables 2 is a ridiculously enjoyable ride involving motorcycles crashing into helicopters, hand to hand combat, wry humor, and general awesomeness.

Out of all the Twilight movies (yep, seen them all), this is the first one that I actually really enjoyed.

With rumors of a curse swirling, this would have been a very good time to throw in the towel.

If your inner voice found a vessel, would it manifest itself as a talking beaver puppet that sounded like Michael Caine?

The relentlessly overexposed trio of Kristen Stewart (as Bella, the pining human girl), Robert Pattinson (as Edward, the brooding vampire boy), and Taylor Lautner (as Jacob, the wolf boy with jailbait abs) are back in the highly anticipated third film. Too bad for them that they are once again the dullest, mopiest characters in the movie.

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