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Here we have yet another 80s re-boot that misses the mark, but still manages to be a lightning-fast paced action flick.

Dear John, Hey! It's been awhile! Guess what? I've been thinking of you recently. Why? Because I finally, finally, FINALLY watched one of your all-time favorite movies (next to Magic, of course): Caligula! I can imagine your face lighting up with delight at this news.

In The Burning Plain, writer/director Guillermo Arriaga once again takes a handful of seemingly separate stories and weaves them together ever-so-gradually (like Amores Perros and 21 Grams), playing with time and place, as he is wont to do. And, once again, the majority of these people are miserable and are hard to cuddle up with.

Jane Campion is a rock star. With Bright Star, she has made a costume drama for people who don't like costume dramas. She has made poetry interesting for people who don't find poetry interesting. And she has made a young-love romance that is simultaneously chaste, yet one of the most real and soul-wrenching of the year.

Dark, shadowy, ambient, grainy, and amateurish, House of Dark Shadows is a hot mess.

If Breakfast at Tiffany's didn't have the jaunty 60s soundtrack by Henry Mancini, it would be a depressingly bleak drama.

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