Director: Sharon Ferranti
Starring: Moynan King, Hollace Starr, Lava Alapai, Virginia Baeta, Melenie Freedom Flynn, Susan Durham

- Reviewed by Linda

BUY THE DVD! Make A Wish

It's too bad lesbians don't have a sense of humor. No, I'll take that back. There are plenty of short films of a lesbian persuasion with loads of talent behind and in front of a camera. But it seems that even with a good idea (a lesbian slasher horror film!), chances are much more often than not that it will be stinky. And Make A Wish sure ain't a treat.

Susan invites a bunch of her exes to go on her birthday camping trip. Not only are they all ex girlfriends, but they all had cheated on Susan except one. Is Susan bitter? Perhaps. Does she have enough of a grudge to want to kill them off, one by one? Well, why not? But, wait, do we really know who is the killer, since, after all, there is A PSYCHOPATH ON THE LOOSE?!?!

In a slasher film, it is almost inexcusable to waste a good half hour with crappy dialogue and sluggish setup before anyone even gets killed. In Make A Wish, when someone finally does get offed, it is a half-assed, "grab your neck just when someone slashes your throat so that blood squirts between your fingers"-trick. Either exaggerate the carnage to make it funny, or go quit monkeying around and make it look GOOD, fer cryin' out loud!

Well, OK, if the violence doesn't cut it, at least throw in some hot sex. Camping lesbians? Potential! But what the hell... there's more heat in a day-old campfire. Whenever two characters look at each other with more than a passing glance, they start to make out for no apparent reason. Hot, it is not. In fact, I swear there were a couple recycled shots between the two major sex scenes. Haven't I seen that hand-on-breast before? Hmmm...

Bad sex. Excruciating line readings. Crappy acting. And no suspense. Why do I give Make A Wish even a single slice then? Well, a hapless male meets his maker by first getting his foot caught in a bear trap, then he is literally toasted by the killer with a blowtorch. Kind of original. Caught my interest for a minute. But just a minute. After that, my single wish was that I could time travel and these wasted 90 minutes of my life back.

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