HAMLET 2

With musical numbers like "Rock Me, Sexy Jesus" and "Raped in the Face", how can he go wrong?

Hamlet 2 is the weirdest, messiest, most insane movie I've seen in a long time. It's way over the top, bordering on nonsensical, and yet I laughed my way through the entire movie. I can't even explain why it was funny. All I know is that this wonky, politically incorrect comedy had the whole theater chuckling, and people actually clapped at the end. Huh.

Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan) is a washed-up actor whose main claim to fame is a commercial for herpes medication. Having failed to make it in Hollywood, Dana now resides in Tuscon with his miserable wife Brie (Catherine Keener) and teaches drama. Much to Brie's annoyance, they've had to take in a fitness-obsessed boarder named Gary (David Arquette), and they still can't even afford a car. Well, it's either the money or Dana's DUI standing in their way, and poor Dana is reduced to roller-skating to work each day.

Though Dana is nowhere close to living his dreams, he does his best to make use of the creative outlet that is available to him. Along with two overly-enthusiastic drama students, Dana stages high school plays adapted from major motion pictures. He pours his heart and soul into each production, but he's met with scathing reviews every time. The school's theater critic is a boy with a sunken mouth and some sort of lisp who may or may not have teeth, and Dana can't even measure up to his standards.

It would seem that Dana's career has hit rock bottom, but there's still plenty of room for things to go wrong. When all of the other electives are cut from the schedule, the leftover students are placed in Dana's drama class, much to the bewilderment of his two star pupils. The new kids are a rowdy, street-smart bunch, and there are more than a few "ethnics" in the crowd. Not only does Dana have to cope with their surliness and apathy each day, he must conduct his class in the snackatorium. It's all pretty depressing and humiliating, but wait, there's more!

Dana and Brie are dealing with fertility issues, so Dana takes to wearing kaftans to keep his crotch cool. The only positive thing to come from this embarrassing situation is a chance meeting with Elisabeth Shue (yes, played gamely by Elisabeth Shue) at the fertility clinic. It seems that she got tired of the movie business and became a nurse, so she's hanging out right there in Tuscon! Needless to say, Dana is thrilled to see her, and invites her to speak to his class.

Unfortunately, Dana might not have a class for very long. The school district is planning to cut drama, and his only hope of saving the program is to put on a play so stellar, so totally sold-out that it completely turns the beat around. And so begins the production of Hamlet 2, Dana's magnum opus. Though the play is deemed obscene, profane, and blasphemous it's Dana's attempt to give Hamlet a happy ending. With a time machine and a little divine intervention, he can keep everyone from dying at the end, make peace with his father, and save drama. With musical numbers like "Rock Me, Sexy Jesus" and "Raped in the Face", how can he go wrong? Okay, wait. Don't answer that.

You can bet that a whole string of things will go wrong before the film's end, but the movie is so goofy, so off-base, and so cheerful that it's hard not to enjoy the ride. I can also see how you might walk away shaking your head and wondering what the hell you just watched. I'm thinking this is a love it or hate it movie, but in my case, I kind of loved it. At the very least, I didn't wind up feeling "raped in the face" when I left the theater.