TOTALLY AWESOME

Totally Awesome can't compare to the original films of the 80s, but it probably won't gag you with a spoon, either.

If movies were people, I'd give Totally Awesome a playful shove and say, "you are such a spaz!" VH1's send-up of 80's teen flicks is nothing short of retarded, but its over-the-top humor made me laugh, and any excuse to go back to the 80's is all right by me.

When Charlie and Lori (Mikey Day and Dominique Swain) move from Pittsburgh to California, they're in for quite a culture shock. Not only are coolness rankings announced over the intercom on the first day of school, but dancing has been banned everywhere in the city. Like omigod! Dancing is Lori's LIFE! But this one time, these kids went to the barn and they were dancing and dancing and their feet came loose! The town lost a lot of good kids that day, and it's just not safe to allow the survivors to endanger themselves. Kids go to stand-arounds instead of dances, but this is not enough for Lori. She must dance, and dance she will.

Everything changes when Lori meets Gabriel (Chris Kattan), a former dance instructor now working as a janitor. Though he's 35, and would pass for a tough 40, he and Lori belong together. She secretly attends dance classes at his house by the freight yard, but his former partner is jealous, and what do you know, she looks an awful lot like Penny from Dirty Dancing! Kattan sports a classic Patrick Swayze hairdo, but I didn't really understand the janitor/student love affair. What movie was that from? I'm sure I missed one or two jokes just trying to place the parody, and it may not have been a reference to anything at all.

As Lori confides in her beloved Michael Jackson poster, Charlie wrestles with problems of his own. He ranked last in the senior class popularity ratings, second only to Billie (Nicki Clyne), a poor girl with greasy skin who makes her own clothes. The two immediately become friends, but Charlie has his eye on Kimberly, the most popular girl in school. Can you say Some Kind of Wonderful? Naturally, Kimberly's boyfriend is Kipp, the most obnoxious, er, most popular boy in school (sort of a cross between Johnny Lawrence in The Karate Kid and Steff in Pretty in Pink). A showdown is inevitable, and Charlie must find a way to be cool.

First he turns to Darnell (Tracy Morgan) for some lessons in blackness which culminate in a Soul Man spoof. Mikey Day actually looks scarily like C. Thomas Howell in this rather pointless sequence, and Tracy Morgan's random advice is hilarious. He'll even teach you to walk like you've had the clap!

When the Soul Man approach to coolness doesn't pan out, Charlie decides to face off against Kipp at the school's annual decathlon. He enlists the help of Mr. Yamagashi (James Hong of The Golden Child and Wayne's World 2), and learns three of the events doing "vaguely gay" household chores. I know I'm being overly sensitive, but this whole storyline seemed disrespectful toward The Karate Kid. Mr. Miyagi never tried anything funny with Daniel, and Totally Awesome reduces their relationship to a sick joke. But back to the big questions-

Does Lori find true love with the janitor? Are the no-dancing laws repealed? Will Charlie win the decathlon? Come on! Did Ferris Bueller take the day off? Totally Awesome can't compare to the original films of the 80s, but it probably won't gag you with a spoon, either.

DVD NOTES

Totally Awesome extras include commentary by Tracy Morgan and writer/director Neil Brennan, 7 minutes of crazy-funny ad libs from Tracy Morgan, deleted scenes, and a plethora of outtakes. The outtakes tend to go on and on, but don't miss the deleted scene of a drunk and sobbing Charlie reacting to 80's world events. They touch on all the big ones, including the Iran hostage crisis, ("You shouldn't have done that, Iran!") and Baby Jessica ("She fell down a well and we couldn't get her out for, like, a day...A whole DAY. That scene alone makes the whole DVD worth watching.