THE LAST LEGION

The poor kid rules the Roman Empire for, like, a week before the Goths show up, kill his parents, and send him running for his life.

Common sense tells us that we should wait until after the movie to watch the special features on a DVD, but in the case of The Last Legion, I really wished I'd risked a few spoilers to get a better handle on the plot. I watched the whole thing, thinly grasping the politics and fighting, enjoying all the Firthiness on the way, and hoping I'd understood it well enough to write this review. Then I watched "Making The Last Legion", and got a perfectly concise summary from the film's youngest star. Geez, nothing like a child prodigy to make you feel like a moron.

Basically, this is the story of the last Caesar, Romulus Augustus (Thomas Sangster of Love Actually and Nanny McPhee). He comes into power around age twelve, and his childhood comes to an abrupt end. His faithful mentor, Ambrosinus (Ben Kingsley), is sent away, and the poor kid rules the Roman Empire for, like, a week before the Goths show up, kill his parents, and send him running for his life.

The boy is then sent to Capri for his own protection, and it's assumed that he will live the rest of his days in exile. Ambrosinus goes along to look after him, and his sworn protector, Aurelius (Colin Firth), scales walls and dodges arrows just to be by his side. The next thing you know, they're rallying forces from Britannia and trying to win back the Roman Empire. Oh, and there's this kick-ass girl, Mira (Aishwarya Rai), and she's right in the thick of the action, kicking and wielding knives just like the boys. Also, the sword Aurelius carries just happens to be named Excalibur. Got it? Then you're doing better than I am.

Touted as an intimate epic, The Last Legion succeeds as a story of loyalty and bravery. There's not much to complain about when you've got Colin Firth and Ben Kingsley onscreen, but the weird blend of Roman history and Arthurian Legend leaves a lot to be desired. My own background in both of these areas is weak, and film's attempt to draw a connection between the two feels just as flimsy.

Most of the movie is made up of battle scenes (some reminiscent of Lord of the Rings), so it seems that it would have been wise to keep the plot as straightforward as possible. Perhaps even taking the story in a completely fictional direction would have helped, because by the time Ambrosinus morphed into Merlin, I was truly scratching my head. There are many moving moments in the story, but the film's grand vision sometimes detracts from its most intimate moments. There's certainly room for improvement, but it's still worth watching, if only for the performances of Britain's best.

DVD NOTES

In addition to the "Making of The Last Legion" featurette, extra features include deleted scenes with optional commentary, fight scene choreography, commentary by director Doug Lefler, "From The Director's Sketchbook: A Storyboard-to-Film Comparison", and the theatrical trailer. It's surprising that a film of this scale didn't have a higher profile, but perhaps audiences were disappointed by the same elements I was.