SCARFACE

What I didn't know is that Scarface is funny.

As the story goes, someone mentioned Scarface to Jessica Simpson and she responded with, "Ew, is his face, like, all covered in scars?" Dummy. It's so easy to discount a girl who doesn't even know when she's eating tuna. I'd seen the poster. I knew Scarface wasn't disfigured like Hatchetface in Cry Baby or that kid in Mask. I knew it was an important film made by the big guns about some sort of crime lord. What I didn't know is that Scarface is funny. Why wouldn't someone tell me?! I wish to shake my fist at everyone who sat on this secret—I was robbed! I was robbed! For people like Jessica and myself, I'm letting the cat out of the bag.

Scarface is a quintessential 80's movie, instantly recognizable by upbeat synth music that is somewhat at odds with the subject matter. Obviously, I had to buy the soundtrack immediately. The Miami setting lends a sunny quality to this dark underworld with its white suits and palm trees, and it's entirely possible that Scarface and Aaron Spelling shared an interior decorator. Why, oh why did the 80s have to end?

Al Pacino is Tony Montana, whose facial scarring has been greatly exaggerated by his nickname. He immigrates to America from Cuba to escape Communism, accompanied by his friend Manny (Steven Bauer). Imagine George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley of Wham! had a son their own age, and you've got a pretty good vision of Manny. It is immediately apparent that Tony has a gift for pointing out the obvious with his dry sense of humor, and he and Manny have great banter. You'd have to go a long way to beat their little debate over whether American girls prefer men to waggle their tongues at them or buy them ice cream (Manny says tongue, Tony says ice cream).

Unfortunately they become entrenched in a life of crime, doing hits and running drugs to get their green cards. But Scarface wants to be his own boss. He wants a beautiful wife, a lavish home, a sports car, and a tiger. No really, a tiger, like from India. And he's bent on getting it all.

Their boss's right hand man (F. Murray Abraham who also plays a finky guy in Serpico) is suspicious of Tony's intentions, but he's out of the picture soon enough. Some drug kingpin has him lynched... from a helicopter. Poor F. Murray Abraham. First Scarface steals his thunder, then that smarty-boots Mozart.

It's not long before Tony is running his own empire. He has everything he wants including the tiger and a trophy wife, but it's not quite what he pictured. The trophy wife is a vapid coke-head played by Michelle Pfeiffer, who gives her usual snotty, no-personality performance. As Scarface points out, "her womb is so polluted she can't even give me a little baby". Poor guy. To top it off, his sweet, innocent sister (played by Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and her Bob Ross hairdo) is starting to fall in with his crowd. Tony sees the emptiness of his life, yet continues to barrel toward self-destruction.

Ultimately Scarface is the tragic tale of a man trying to do all the right things in all the wrong ways, falling victim to his own devices and the trappings of excess. It contains mountains of cocaine, violence, and profanity, but it is absolutely brimming with subtle humor and quirky dialogue. The cumulative effect is a nearly perfect film which reinforces just how cool Al Pacino is. If I were him, I'd quote Scarface every night before bed, and make my family, "Say goodnight to the bad guy!"

DVD NOTES

If, like me, you find it difficult to "say goodnight to the bad guy" when the credits roll, you'll undoubtedly enjoy the lively extra features that accompany the Platinum Edition DVD. No edition of Scarface would be complete without the featurettes "Scarface: The Rebirth", "Scarface: Creating", and "Scarface: The Acting" from the Anniversary Edition. These mini-documentaries provide the best inside information about the making of the movie, and include interviews with Al Pacino, Steven Bauer, Oliver Stone, Brian DePalma, Martin Bregman, and Giorgio Moroder. Everything from set design to soundtrack composition is discussed, including DePalma's struggle to avoid the dreaded X rating without cutting the controversial chainsaw scene. Hearing how he stuck it to the MPAA makes me want to cheer. Deleted scenes and a montage of edited for television clips are all still here.

New to the Platinum Edition is the "Scarface Scoreboard", which tallies the number of F-bombs dropped and bullets fired with handy little counters at the bottom of the screen. Also new is a "Making of Scarface: The Video Game" featurette. It seems everyone from James Woods to Brenda Strong was clamoring to lend their voice to this project, but alas, there is no Pacino. Law enforcement officers also discuss "The World of Tony Montana," and warn against becoming a drug lord. Turns out they find lots of Scarface posters on the walls when they do drug busts—as if Tony's demise weren't enough to convince you not to try this at home!