IT'S THE EASTER BEAGLE, CHARLIE BROWN

I had never actually understood the Peanuts gang to be stupid, but this cast them in a whole new light.

I like the Peanuts gang as much as the next person, but they have given me moments of pause in my life. Like when I was six and they ran some sort of Snoopy/Red Baron special that just went on and on, and at first I thought, "Look it's a Snoopy cartoon—I love this!" But after awhile I had to stop and wonder what the hell was going on. Were they on drugs? Should I be on drugs? Is this an appropriate line of thinking for a little child watching an animated special? Twenty-odd years later, It's The Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown found me asking similar questions.

This well-intended Easter special finds Charlie Brown and friends prepping for the holiday with a classic level of cluelessness and a complete lack of adult supervision. Linus keeps insisting that the Easter Beagle will be paying them a visit (much like The Great Pumpkin, I'm sure), and Peppermint Patty takes it upon herself to teach Marcy all about Easter. I had never actually understood the Peanuts gang to be stupid, but this cast them in a whole new light.

Things get off to a rocky start as Peppermint Patty preps little cups of egg dye, and Marcy fixes the eggs... by frying them. Annoyed, Peppermint Patty drags her into town to buy another dozen eggs. They run into the whole Peanuts gang at the store, where a banner boasts "246 Days Til Christmas", and causes murmurings of "good grief" all around. Wow, like that joke doesn't just whack you over the head. Anyway, Peppermint Patty and Marcy take the new eggs home, and while Peppermint Patty continues to fiddle with the dye (less believably now, since it was already ready), Marcy proceeds to squish the eggs in a waffle maker. Argh! After a second trip to the store, they try the whole thing a third time. While Peppermint Patty blatantly plays with the dye for the camera, Marcy fills a pot with water (now realizing she must BOIL the eggs) and quickly cracks all twelve of them into it. Oh, honestly! Will somebody just shoot me?! No, strike that—shoot Marcy, please.

The holiday ends happily for everyone but Lucy (surprise, surprise), and as Peppermint Patty and Marcy sit on a bench with their Easter eggs in hand, Marcy asks what she's supposed to do with her egg now that she's got it. Peppermint Patty explains that you just sprinkle it with salt and eat it. Without peeling the egg, Marcy sprinkles it with salt, bites into the shell, and announces, "This tastes awful." Do the bounds of her idiocy know no limits? And realizing that she's either dumb as a stump or from another planet, why doesn't Peppermint Patty just lay things out for Marcy step by step? Sheesh.

Included on the same DVD is It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown, a similarly mind-numbing foray into environmentalism. Despite a few cute quips, the special limps along rather lamely. Basically, the well-meaning Peanuts gang plants seeds all over the baseball field, and by the day of the big game, it's all covered over with flowers and trees. Wah-wah.

The low point is when Charlie Brown discusses with Peppermint Patty what he would do if he saw a "cute little girl". Why the heck is he calling them little girls when he's a little boy himself? A hairless, depressive little boy, but a kid no less. The whole thing sounds pervy to me, and I think that's what bothers me about Charlie Brown humor. These little kids have all the neuroses and hang-ups as adults, but the life skills of... I don't know... caterpillars. The cartoons are cute in a nostalgic kind of way, but I'm not sure they hold up very well.

The Remastered Deluxe Edition also includes a featurette on Charles M. Shulz and the Biblical references in his work.