TAKEN

Ex-CIA operative Liam Neeson kicks asses and takes names while searching for his kidnapped daughter in this all-action, little-talk thriller.

For me, the key problem with this admittedly shaky action-thriller can be summed up in two words: Maggie Grace. Why? Because:

1. The audience is expected to swallow 25-year-old Maggie Grace as a just-turned-17-year old. This task is made more difficult by virtue of the fact that...

2. Maggie Grace plays the character as though she were 11, not 17. And even that could be forgiven if only...

3. Maggie Grace wasn’t so entirely bland and uninteresting an actress.

Liam Neeson stars in the film, co-written by Luc Besson, as Bryan Mills, a retired CIA operative—or, at least, that’s what’s hinted at by a big chunk of expository dialogue at the outset and a veiled reference to “Langley”—who’s living the sad-sack life in Los Angeles. He longs to be closer with his estranged daughter, Kim (Grace), but finds his efforts thwarted by his inexplicably bitter ex-wife (Famke Janssen). After Kim turns 17 and has a very child-like birthday extravaganza complete with her best present EVER—a pony!!! (no joke)—she begs Bryan for permission to travel to Paris with a friend. He’s more than a little reluctant because his former line of work means he knows what kind of nefarious ne’er-do-well are lying in wait for unsuspecting American 11-year-olds... I mean, teenagers... in the City of Lights.

Eager to win her love, and possibly to end her temper tantrum, Bryan agrees... and Kim’s not in Paris more than an hour when, sure enough!, she and her dippy traveling companion are kidnapped by Albanian thugs and sold into the sex trade. A switch then flips in Bryan, and he goes from hapless dad to well-trained killing machine as he muscles his way through all manner of ne’er-do-wells in a bid to find and rescue his daughter.

Problem is, the whole thing is very one-note. Yes, there are fight sequences and a house-music-heavy soundtrack to remind us that what’s happening onscreen is meant to be totally awesome, but those stunt sequences are dull in comparison to other films in this genre, and Neeson—while fit and beefy—has his limits. He’s no Jason Statham, and isn’t entirely convincing as a lethal weapon. Nonetheless, he drops the hammer on one interchangeable, anonymous villain after another but, after a while, I just wished he’d hurry up and find the kingpin and go toe to toe with that guy. “We get it, Liam, you want to be an action star... move it along, already!”

Equally one-note, as mentioned, is Grace. In fact, she’s so forgettable that, at one point in the film, Bryan thinks he’s found Kim... and so did I. He walks into a grungy room, sees someone who looks like Kim lying semi-conscious on a bed and says, repeatedly, “Kim? Kim!” in a way that suggestshe actually has found her. Next scene? He’s interrogating some swarthy criminal and demanding to know where his daughter is. Huh? Didn’t you JUST find her thirty seconds ago? Wait... that wasn’t her??? I honestly thought the reels of the film had somehow been mixed up, because I was sure that strung-out brunette moments earlier was Maggie Grace! That’s how nondescript she is. And, unfortunately, that makes it hard to care what happens to her... which, in turn, makes it hard to care what happens in the movie.

Now, I will say this: there is one scene in the film that is so spectacularly unexpected (though brief) and awesome that the entire theatre erupted into gleeful laughter (in a joyous way, not a mocking one). I won’t spoil it for you, but that scene alone earns this movie an extra slice.

Overall, though? Meh. I wasn’t taken with Taken, and I suspect you might not be, either.