Written by Linda
December 26, 2008
Fostering a house full of special needs children is truly daunting, but one single mom is more than up to the task.
Susan Tom is simply a saint. A single mom who has adopted 11 kids (in addition to her two biological children) and stays home full time to raise them, she is perhaps the most selfless person I have ever seen on film. The majority of her children (9 still living at home) have special needs, anything from cystic fibrosis, to missing limbs, to horrible disfiguration from burns. But the Tom household is probably the most bustling, active, and happy group of kids you can imagine.
My Flesh and Blood portrays one year in this amazing family. As the film introduce us to each of the children, you can't help but face your own initial prejudices, judgements, and pity for these kids. Two girls don't have legs, a couple of kids have missing hands. One boy has a terminal skin disease that basically causes his skin to come loose from his body, leaving raw open wounds. But because of Susan's positive and supportive attitude, these kids don't feel sorry for themselves. Seeing them frolicking in a pool, or arguing with their siblings, or playing video games, you realize that in every other way this family is entirely normal.
But unforseen problems surface partway through the year, as Joe, a 15-year-old boy who not only struggles with cystic fibrosis, but has been diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder), becomes surly and threatening towards his family and others. Susan points out that the state offers financial help to deal with the physical problems of special needs kids, but they don't offer help for the mental problems of these children. Think of it, she says: a kid who is not only disabled, but is fully aware that his condition is terminal, is bound to have some mental problems. No kidding.
Susan is such an incredibly strong person that has sacrificed her own personal life to help these children. When she needs a breather from the chaos, she surfs personal ads online, knowing full well that she won't respond to any—why bother? No man would likely stick around after discovering her brood of 13 high-maintenance kids, and she admits she doesn't blame them. When an older daughter has a meltdown, and sobs to her mother that she has no one to talk to about how difficult her life is, you can't help but wonder how Susan herself doesn't break. During moments like that, you want to shout at the screen, "Someone give that woman a hug!" But she doesn't break. She takes a deep breath, and tackles the next problem head on.
My Flesh and Blood is a truly inspiring film. Despite the content, it is surprisingly not bleak. Even when faced with the death of one of their siblings—almost inevitable, considering that several kids are terminal, and at any given time one or two are hospitalized—they still have a positive outlook that would thaw even the most discriminating heart. In a time when there is so much violence and hatred in the daily news, it is refreshing to see a film that actually offers some faith in the good of humanity.