PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES

Here's the thing about this fourth installment of the sea-faring series of adventures involving Captain Jack Sparrow: despite its best efforts, it still feels a lot like one more desperate squeeze of a stone that long ago stopped giving blood.

Plenty of things feel all-too-familiar: boozy Jack (Johnny Depp) slurs his way through another quest for a much sought-after treasure (this time, the mythical Fountain of Youth), along the way crossing swords and lusty glances with a femme fatale (this time, Penélope Cruz as pirate Angelica), battling strange and bizarre creatures (this time, seriously hostile mermaids) and trying to best a long-time foe (Geoffrey Rush reprising his role as Barbossa, who – this time – is peg-legged and working for the King). There are umpteen long and drawn-out fight sequences that all kind of feel the same, and by the time the film hit the hour-and-40-minute mark I was more than ready for everyone to wrap it up. Unfortunately, it still had another 40 minutes to go at that point.

For his part, Depp tries to keep Jack lively, and it works sometimes, but his schtick is getting old. It's not helped by the fact that there's no discernible "straight man" off of whom he can play – Jack's love/hate relationship with Angelica is not only not believable, but fairly dull and chemistry-free, so she doesn't fill the foil role. Equally ineffective is bland new addition Ian McShane as Blackbeard, who doesn't hold a candle to villains from past films (Bill Nighy's cephalopodic Davy Jones, for starters)... leaving Jack kind of adrift on his own. Pity that Sam Clafin, as a noble cleric forced along on the pirates' collective quest, is given little to do but pine for a comely mermaid (Astrid Berges-Frisbey), because he might have filled departed castmate Orlando Bloom's hero shoes.

The main problem with a sequel that's clearly been greenlit as something of a cash-grab is the fact that, often, the audience can tell. Director Rob Marshall (Chicago) fails to deliver much wow and, instead, follows a worn blueprint. It feels very much like all involved are just going through the motions for the sake of a paycheque rather than for the love of the project. Did the world need another POTC outing? Not really. Was this a fantastical tale that enriches the Jack Sparrow lore and legend? Meh. So why make it? For the inevitable – or, based on the dwindling receipts of the POTC films over time, hoped-for – box-office haul from its existing fan base.

The thing is, what's being offered up to that fan base lacks the whimsy, spirit and imagination of some of its predecessors. And don't get me started on the completely needless 3D, which adds nothing to the film except for giving it a dim, grey tone. On Stranger Tides is not a bad film, per se, and was actually more entertaining than I thought it would be. But it's definitely a mediocre one and, in this context, that's disappointing.

DVD + BLU-RAY NOTES

The 2-Disc Combo Pack features Disney Second Screen (which allows you to simultaneously explore interactive content on your computer or iPad), audio commentary with Director Rob Marshall and Executive Producer John DeLuca, Bloopers of the Caribbean, and the LEGO animated short, "Captain Jack's Brick Tales".  Also available is the Limited Edition 5 Disc Combo pack, which comes with more extras, a 3-D Blu Ray Edition, and a digital copy.  If you want to go for broke, there's always the uber amazing 15-Disc Four Movie Collection, which comes with all four movies, oodles of extras, and is packaged in a pirate's chest!