THE CLASSIC TV CHRISTMAS COLLECTION

The collection serves up a smattering of holiday cheer and television history that offers a bit of something for everyone.

For lovers of pop culture, Christmastime means Christmas specials.  The Classic TV Christmas Collection offers a sampling of holiday episodes from popular shows airing between 1964 and 1994.  Some of the shows have held up better than others, but regardless of the quality, they serve as a sort of Yuletide time capsule taking us through the decades.  There’s bound to be a show whose very existence makes you scratch your head, but there’s also bound to be one that’ll make you weep with nostalgia.  Most of all, it will reassure you that Christmas is rarely as jolly and bright as we’re led to believe.

The collection starts off with a black and white episode of Dr. Kildare, starring Richard Chamberlain in the title role.  It’s Christmastime in the hospital, but a sickly, cynical alcoholic (Rip Torn) brings chaos to the ward with his belligerent ramblings and a colossal case of Indian giving.  It’s pretty gloomy fare, but the charming and handsome young Kildare manages to salvage the holiday by showing generosity to a man who has lost faith in the human race.

The giving continues on The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, starring the adorable Bill Bixby as a single dad.  Life is disrupted when a family friend (played by a very young Jodie Foster) comes to stay for the weekend.  The little girl isn’t exactly easy to get along with, but Eddie tries to cheer her up by giving her a medallion he was given by his uncle.  Then she gives it to her dad and on and on until it finally reaches its rightful owner.  It’s a silly but sweet show intended to show that it’s the intention behind the gift that matters far more than the gift itself.

Next up is a tiring and barely intelligible “Sweathog Christmas” with the Welcome Back Kotter gang.  Watch John Travolta trade lame insults with other over-aged high school students if you dare.  Slightly more palatable, but  no less a train wreck is the two-part Eight Is Enough Christmas extravaganza, “Yes Nicholas, There Really Is a Santa Claus”.  It was always a puzzle to me why they would make a show about too many adults piled in one house (just Waltons for the 70s, really), and the longer you watch, the more you begin to suspect that eight is actually way too many.  As Tommy (Willie Aames) mopes around thinking of his dead mother, most of the girls vacate the Bradford family home with their dates.  Meanwhile, little Nicholas witnesses “Santa” loading up their presents, but neglects to mention this to the rest of the family. Chaos ensues as everyone realizes the house has been burglarized, the car has been stolen, and Susan (or one of the sappy sisters) is missing.  What to do?  Frankly, it seems unlikely that this irritable, dimwitted clan will ever figure it out.  “Eight Heads and Not a Brain Between Them” might have been a better name for the show.  This two-parter is so cloying, annoying, and absurd that its entertainment value comes primarily from creating your own commentary.

Things look up again with Disc Three, which finds the gang from Alice (Linda Lavin, Polly Holliday, Vic Tayback) literally enjoying a “Semi-Merry Christmas”.  No really, they all get stuck in the mountains in a borrowed semi.  But no one seems to mind and the situation is resolved so quickly, so it all seems like good clean fun.  CHiPS evolves similarly with a sleazy couple nearly stealing Christmas from an innocent family and a church full of underprivileged kids.  No worries, as Ponch and Jon are sure to come to the rescue.  Perfect Strangers rounds out the fun as Balki (Bronson Pinchot) manages to cure the office grouch (and those who despise him) with his guileless sincerity and kindness.  I must confess that this episode left me a schoche choked up, mostly because I loved the show as a child and was almost happy enough to see Balki and Larry to do the dance of joy, but also because it’s actually still funny and poignant.

Disc 4 includes the offbeat yet entertaining Mama’s Family, a show which seemed dated when it started, then ran indefinitely.  This episode finds the family contemplating whether to eat the Christmas goose or keep it as a pet.  We’re brought into the 90s with the workplace comedies Suddenly Susan (starring Brooke Shields, Judd Nelson, and Kathy Griffin) and Veronica’s Closet (starring Kirstie Alley and Kathy Najimy).  Somehow the last two feel a bit too recent to be classic, but they’re definitely representative of their decade, and in a few years’ time they’ll feel like relics as well.  All in all, the collection serves up a smattering of holiday cheer and television history that offers a bit of something for everyone.