SUCK

Suck benefits from having a really great trailer, and features the likes of Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop, and Malcolm McDowell in a low budget rock-n-roll vampire spoof. But alas the movie struggles to live up to the fun of that brief tease.

What if your rock-n-roll dreams never came to fruition? There you are, having crested 30, your band struggling, your dreams of glory slipping away. Well, your band kind of sucks, really. Maybe that is the problem. But Joey the bandleader is so sure they'll make it, if they can just get to that music showcase festival in New York... it'll be their big break. Turns out their break ends up being their bass player Jennifer (Jessica Paré) turning into a vampire after leaving a show with a super-creepy dude that breaks into song in his lair, like a Rocky Horror reject.

Jennifer is now super sexy, super pale, and the crowd loves. Who'da thought if the band became vampires, they'd be so much cooler? (Too bad it doesn't really make their music any better.)

But! There is still definitely fun to be had in Suck. Moby shows up as Buffalo's biggest egotistical local rock god who likes to slap slabs of raw steak on his bald noggin (nice!). And there's Alice Cooper as a wise, all-knowing bartender (or is he some sort of demon?). Malcolm McDowell stalks the band as Eddie Van Helsig, on his never-ending quest to kill all vampires to avenge his hot girlfriend from the 60s (the film uses nice flashbacks of McDowell's youthful self from an old film). And Iggy Pop has been around the block, and he doesn't think vampires are cool, man.

But, the thing is, the trailer for Suck was REALLY funny. I kind of expected more. Rob Stefaniuk, as writer, director, lead actor, and author of many of the songs may have just spent all of his creative juices, covering so many bases, that he falls just short of creating what could have been a hilarious horror/comedy classic.