THE OH IN OHIO

As a fan of Posey and Rudd, I expected more from this film. How dare a director waste their talents!

Ahhh... so much potential wasted! Look at this on paper (or on screen, if you will): Parker Posey plays Priscilla, an executive in Cleveland who is very successful at work, but less successful at home in bed. Her long suffering husband Jack (Paul Rudd) is a high school teacher that used to have flair and vigor in the classroom, but now is downtrodden and defeated because he is unable to give his wife an orgasm. When her co-worker reads aloud an article from a women's magazine about how millions of American women suffer from sexual dysfunction, a lightbulb of recognition goes off in Priscilla head, and she decides to, er, take the matter into her own hands. Soon Paul finds himself replaced by a vibrator, and he himself falls into the arms of one of his students (played by the no-nonsense Mischa Barton). You see, the teenager Kristen wants to help her favorite teacher. She wants to help him a lot.

Now, doesn't this plot sound brilliant? And who better to play sexy and neurotic and playful than Parker Posey? She is surrounded by supporting actors that are no slouches either. Paul Rudd is always great, and tends to choose interesting indie projects. Mischa Barton may be known mostly as a vixen on FOX, but she is a confident big-screen actress. And even Danny DeVito shows up as a local pool salesman that surprisingly might be the one to light Priscilla's fire. But despite all these fine actors, why is The OH in Ohio so freakin' dull?

My only answer is that it must be the writing. It just isn't sharp enough. It isn't sexy enough. It isn't funny enough. Priscilla becomes addicted to her vibrator, which should be hilarious. But then I realized that I've seen that plot before in the episode of Sex and the City when Charlottle canceled social dates to stay home with her new friend The Rabbit. The public orgasm scene should have been funny, but it was done better in When Harry Met Sally. And strangely that scene also reminded me of a bizarre Japanese film that I reviewed called A Snake in June where a woman is reduced to a knee-buckling mess on a city street because of, well, externally controlled excitement. I didn't even really like that movie, but even though it wasn't really funny, at least that scene was hot.

The OH in Ohio ultimately disappoints, which is hugely frustrating. As a fan of Posey and Rudd, I expected more from this film. How dare a director waste their talents! If filmmakers are going to remake Hollywood movies from 20 years ago, and re-imagine TV shows for the big screen, why not put out a call to remake The OH in Ohio? Clever screenwriters, take up this challenge! Sharpen your pencils (and your tongues): this film could have and should have been much, much wittier.