DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS?

Unfortunately for this fish-out-of-water romantic comedy, the profound lack of chemistry between its two mismatched leads sinks it more than any other of its numerous problems.

When über-wealthy, soon-to-be-divorced NYC power couple Paul (Hugh Grant) and Meryl (Sarah Jessica Parker, in an inexplicably horrifying wig) inadvertently witness a murder, they become prime targets for the vengeful assassin and are promptly thrown into the witness-relocation program by the Feds. Their new home? Ray, Wyoming... a tiny speck of a town in the middle of nowhere. Once arrived, the bickering duo are forced to share close quarters in the home of local Marshal Clay Wheeler (Sam Elliott) and his gun-toting wife, Emma (Mary Steenburgen), and to adjust to rural living while simultaneously reexamining their crumbling relationship.

Problem is, so much of the film relies on the audience believing that Paul and Meryl belong together, and that they’re so perfectly matched that being apart would be insane... but, wow. There is absolutely NO chemistry between Grant and Parker. At all. To the point where I was kind of wincing at the dialogue they were struggling to sell. The lines that, clearly, are meant to zing instead just land with a giant thud, and the ones intended to pull at heartstrings just wind up sounding so awfully wrong.

But equally problematic is the highly unoriginal script which, thematically, reminded me very much of the Tim Allen/Kirstie Alley city-slickers-hide-out-in-Amish-country comedy For Richer or Poorer. It also feels very much like a 1980s comedy, where we’re expected to believe that folks from the city – especially ones as presumably cosmopolitan as Paul and Meryl – are so clueless that they suddenly have no idea how to behave in the country or how to survive without their Blackberries. Bacon and eggs for breakfast? WHAT?! A warehouse superstore? WHAT PLANET ARE WE ON?! It was just too much.

And, overall, it’s just not funny. The “com” part of rom-com is decidedly lacking and, as mentioned, the “rom” part isn’t so great, either... leaving Did You Hear About the Morgans? a movie that you likely will hear about, but not in any kind of favorable way.