EAGLE EYE

There is a moment where the audience figures out exactly what is going on in Eagle Eye, a thriller that goes not many interesting places, but goes there FAST. About halfway through the film, the perpetrator of our lead characters' misery is revealed. It is kind of a "Well, duh" moment... but it is not until the end that any of the characters even get a clue, from our hapless non-couple on the run, to the military investigators who are hot on their tale.

Now let me back up a moment here. Jerry Shaw (Shia LeBouf) and Rachel Holloman (Michelle Monaghan) are two folks just going on with their everyday lives when they each get a mysterious phone call from a woman who gives them very stern directions. The calls sound kind of like a prank call, like, "Leave your apartment immediately because in 15 seconds the FBI will be breaking down your door..." Or, "Go into the black SUV, get in, and drive away." Yeah, right, lady. But then mystery woman shows that she means business when Jerry's door does get broken down, and when Rachel sees an image of her beloved son plastered all over the McDonald's TV monitors. If you don't do what I say, the kid's train is going to derail on my command, see?

Next thing you know, Jerry and Rachel are literally running for their lives... together. Whenever they try to make an independent decision, like, "Say, let's not rob that armored car... screw the mystery lady!" Something horrific and deadly happens immediately to scare them into compliance.

This is fairly interesting. That is until you realize that is the WHOLE movie. Run run run run. Phone rings. Do this... or the kid dies! Or you die! OK! OK! In the meantime, the military police investigators, led by Billy Bob Thornton (who gets some of the few laughs in the film) and Rosario Dawson (who is not allowed to crack a knowing smile throughout the whole movie, despite the fact that you KNOW she would have figured out the whole mess a lot sooner, if they just gave her character some credit). And Michael Chiklis shows up as the Defense Secretary, and you almost believe him. Then he gets locked in a room. Damn.

Eagle Eye made me think of many movies that were much much smarter, and way more interesting. The most glaringly obvious classic film rip-off (which screams its name when you see the perpetrator) I will not name (I'll bet in the DVD extras the director will refer to this as an "homage"). But as my mind wandered during the film, I also thought fondly (in a distracted daydreaming way) of Will Smith's similar Enemy of the State which was both thrilling and made you care about the characters.

As for the kids in Eagle Eye (yes, at one point they are called "the boy and the girl" as though they are twelve and not, you know, a guy with facial hair and a woman with an 8-year-old child)... well, I could care less. The funny thing is, the film ended exactly as it was supposed to, except an hour too late.