COUPLES RETREAT

Despite its breathtaking location and impressive cast line-up, this uneven and often sloppy relationship comedy lands with a solid “meh” onscreen.

The premise is straightforward: four couples set out to the idyllic Eden West resort in Bora Bora in the hopes of combining a relaxing vacation with some much-needed together time. The duo at the center of this group is Jason (Jason Bateman) and Cynthia (Kristen Bell), a type-A yuppie pair whose struggles to conceive have caused enough friction that they’re now considering divorce. Along for the trip, under the pretense of providing emotional support, are their best friends: Dave (Vince Vaughn) and Ronnie (Malin Akerman), who are happily married with two young kids; Joey (Jon Favreau) and Lucy (Kristin Davis), who had a baby together as teenagers and whose marriage is filled with resentment and anger; and recently divorced Shane (Faizon Love), who’s so desperate for connection that he hooks up with brash 20-year-old Trudy (Kali Hawk) and brings her along to paradise.

Relatively bland shenanigans ensue as the couples adjust to the “skills building” exercises designed by the resort’s Zen-like head honcho, Marcel (Jean Reno), who walks around in a burgundy robe and releases butterflies and waxes poetic about energy and feelings. A slimy yoga instructor named Salvatore (Carlos Ponce) – who bears more than a passing resemblance to the scuba instructor played by Hank Azaria in Along Came Polly -- slithers around the women, using every opportunity to thrust his pelvis into them... to the point that it was gross. And a series of therapists, including Ken Jeong and John Michael Higgins, pop up occasionally (and for overlong onscreen therapy sessions) to, it seems, do little more than toss a little more contrived conflict into the guests’ lives.

Save for Dave and Ronnie, who provide a refreshing portrait of a young(ish) couple who – despite their flaws – really love each other, none of the characters are particularly likable. Favreau’s Joey is especially boorish, and it’s hard to root for him when he consistently behaves like an enraged, horny moron. Davis’ Lucy is no better and is never convincing – the scenes where *she’s* meant to be furious made me snicker. Shane and Trudy are funny enough, but Jason and Cynthia feel like complete caricatures instead of real people. The actors are all fine, but it seemed like everyone set their phasers on “mediocre” instead of shooting for the top, performance-wise.

And the thing is, not a lot really happens in Couples Retreat. There are, as mentioned, a number of extended scenes of the various couples in therapy (yawn) and a few resort-related antics, like an ill-fated snorkeling outing, but for the most part... it’s just a bunch of people on holiday. There aren’t any real laugh-out-loud moments, only a few that kind of made me smile... or cringe (Joey’s massage, anyone?) or roll my eyes (boys battle it out via Guitar Hero). The film has a clear, ordinary narrative, there’s never really any question how everything will turn out in the end, and it seems like many of the intended laughs come from repeated scenes of inappropriate touching of various origins.

Fine for a rental, but not really worth the money to see it on a big screen (stunning scenery notwithstanding), the film is just okay and never really lives up to its potential.