Written by Jennifer
March 31, 2009
Do not yell at the seeing eye bitch.
Watching Everything is Illuminated is like having the funniest boy in school grab you by the hand and take you on the ride of your life. You're left sort of looking around, wondering how you got so lucky, but enjoying every single second while you can. In this case the boy is named Alex, and is played by the fantastic Eugene Hutz. He guides us through the whole "rigorous" tale in his hilarious Ukrainian English, and it's impossible not to like him. His entire English vocabulary seems to consist of obscure synonyms to common words. Excellent.
Alex loves America, especially the Negroes, so he wears all sorts of wacky hip-hop outfits. He loves to go clubbing, and many girls want to be carnal with him because he's such a premium dancer. He lives with his parents, his miniature brother, and his grandfather (Stephen Samudovsky). His grandfather thinks he is blind, and has a deranged seeing-eye bitch named Sammy Davis Junior Junior who is known to growl at thin air and attack the walls. Do not yell at the seeing eye bitch. Grandpa will have your head.
Grandfather used to run a tour company that specialized in taking American Jews to visit their dead relatives in the Ukraine, but he's retired, and he's not the slightest bit interested when his son asks him to take a young man to Trachimbrod. Reluctantly Alex, Grandpa, and Sammy Davis Junior Junior pile into the car and go to fetch Jonathan (Elijah Wood) from the airport. From there these unlikely traveling companions embark upon a bizarre road trip that will change their lives.
Jonathan, with his Coke bottle glasses, is the perfect foil to the outspoken Ukrainians. He's earnest and pensive, and no one can figure out what he means when he says he is afraid of dogs and eats no meat. "That is not possible!" Grandpa insists. The banter in this movie couldn't be better, and you can't look away for a moment, lest you should miss the subtitles to a Ukrainian joke.
As our travelers near their destination, the mood becomes somber, and their experience in Trachimbrod is nothing short of heart-wrenching. It forces all three men to face their history, and makes them realize the ways in which the past bind us all. In his directorial debut, Liev Schreiber successfully brings Jonathan Safran Foer's novel to life with rich storytelling and even richer characters.
I usually reserve the whole pie rating for life-altering movies that make you want to buy soundtracks and posters and begin a love affair with the main character. In the case of Everything Is Illuminated I just can't think of a single reason to shave off a slice. It may not spark an obsession, but it certainly made me want to read the book, and it left me saying "hip hip hurray" for everyone involved.
