THE DOUBLE

Too bad for Richard Gere and Topher Grace, this thriller is stinky stinky STINKY.

Both Richard Gere and Topher Grace have image problems that they will continue to fight in their careers. Gere is most famous for sexy, romantic roles (like Pretty Woman and American Gigilo), which Grace is a deft comedian in his stints on TV (That 70s Show) and, with less success, in the movies (In Good Company, Take Me Home Tonight). But apparently both of them, like most boys, want to be badasses, so they signed up for this post-Cold War spy-thriller.

But, too bad for them, this thriller is stinky stinky STINKY.

Gere plays retired CIA agent Paul Shepherdson, who spent his career chasing the mysterious Soviet assassin Cassius, known for his trademark of slitting victims' throats with a wire. When a U.S. Senator is killed in an alley with this technique, intelligence immediately thinks the long-dormant (or dead?) Cassius is back. Shepherdson is brought out of retirement to partner up with a wet-behind-the-ears FBI agent named Ben Geary (Topher Grace), who did his thesis on Cassius, so knows as much as anyone other than Paul.

But guess what? Paul was so intent on insisting that Cassius was dead, because he is Cassius! Wait. Did I just give away a huge spoiler? You'd think! But as this is revealed in the first third of the movie, as well as the movie trailer, you are left scratching your head about what the filmmakers where thinking. I guess we should be worried for poor little Topher Grace's safety as he gets closer and closer to the truth, but the thing is, the film is such a mess that you don't even care. Shoot, something as important as a U.S. Senator being assassinated is never mentioned again, for instance. Instead, we get Gere beating up Russian prostitutes and Topher constantly insisting to his young beautiful wife and baby that it will all be OK.

A small light in this movie is the appearance of Stephen Moyer (aka Bill Compton from True Blood). His Russian convict, scarred face and all, is kind of a hoot of over-acting. Just as you start to like him... . But I'll give Moyer this: His Russian accent was so outrageously thick that not once did I expect him to hiss, "Sooooookie!"